We Are Not Forgotten
by HoneyLissaBee
Summary: The 2020-2021 school year is upon the Degrassi Community School as Isabella Jones and Jack Simpson face grades eleven and twelve- along with a new senior who is about to test her patience with the drama-filled halls of Degrassi.  Rated T for themes
1. High School

_Authors Note: As many of you may be aware, Degrassi seasons 6 and 7 outlined the 2006-2007 school year and seasons 8 and 9 outlined the 2007-2008 school year. This means that the last graduating class was the class of 2008. For some reason, writers have decided to place season 10 in the current school year (2010-2011), meaning that characters who were only a year behind the previous graduating class are now graduating later than intended. Seeing as this makes no sense to me, I have decided to treat this fanfiction based on original graduation years. This means that, unlike in the show, characters such as Sav, Holly J., and Anya are part of the class of 2009; Drew and Bianca are in the class of 2010; Clare, Jenna, K.C, Connor, Alli, Eli, Adam, etc. are in the class of 2011. Angela Jeremiah was part of the class of 2014, based on her age at the start of the series. _

**Disclaimer: I do not own the rights to any of the Degrassi series (especially the earlier ones seeing as I was born in 1991). (Plus, I would not have screwed around with the timeline like the writers did). I also do not take credit for the characters in this fanfiction. I do, however, take credit for my writing and the current state of the characters during the time this story takes place. I also take credit for the history of my own character(s).**

_Author's Note: Seeing as the episode titles for episodes of Degrassi come from song titles, I am taking my chapter titles from song titles as well. Most of them will be from Christian artists, but a few will be from earlier decades (Pre-1990s) and showtunes/theme songs.

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High School (Superchic[k])

Some things are just _wrong._

Not in an illegal or immoral sense, nor in a gross, disgusting one. "Wrong" in that slightly irritating and extremely ironic way.

Being a high school senior and wandering around school aimlessly on the first day of school is just _wrong. _

It seemed like everybody else knew where they were going. Even the younger looking students, freshmen she presumed, seemed confident in their surroundings.

_Maybe freshman orientation is useful for something around here, _she smiled at the thought. Her freshman orientation had a tour of the school where they were paraded through the hallways from class to class with little time to process the school's layout. Not that anybody _could _figure out where the classrooms were with the long, twisted, zig-zagged paths they took. It wasn't until school started that she realized how tiny the school really was, and that the path from her English class to her Algebra 1 class was not a 3 minute walk through the school, but a 20 second walk down the hall.

She wasn't too surprised that she had absolutely no clue where she was going. She was grateful she even found the campus. Although, not finding the campus would not qualify as being "wrong." No, it would probably be more of an example of "downright pathetic," seeing as the school was easily seen from her bedroom window.

Surprised? No. Stressed? Absolutely.

Sure, she was new, but at her previous school she was chastised for arriving to a couple classes a few seconds late on the first day of her freshman year. For some reason, teachers were not so sympathetic when it came to slightly frightened, and extremely lost, freshmen. As a senior, it was only natural to assume that the teachers would be less forgiving.

"You lost or something?" she looked to her right to see someone standing next to her. He had blue eyes, short blonde hair, and a slight smirk on his face, indicating he thought the idea of a senior being lost to be somewhat comical- though he hesitated to admit to it. "What homeroom are you in?"

A quick glance at the paper, and she replied: "Media Immersion."

"Oh. That's my homeroom too. I'll show you where it is."

"Alright, thanks."

"What's your name anyway?"

"It's Selah."

"Jack," He glanced down the hall and waved at a figure in the distance.

The figure, a girl, picked up her pace. She was short, just over five feet tall. Her long, dark hair was pulled back in a single french braid. She wore the same khaki colored pants Selah and Jack wore, but her polo was red, while the other two sported blue shirts.

"Hey, Is," Jack wrapped his arm around his friend's shoulder for a quick, friendly hug before retreating. "How was your summer?"

"Nothing exciting. Who's your friend?"

Jack cracked a sly smile. "Oh. I just found her wandering around like a little lost puppy. Think my parents will let me keep her."

"Ha-ha," Isabella rolled her eyes sarcastically.

"Selah. I just moved here last week."

"My name's Isabella, but people cal me 'Is,' 'Izzy,' 'Belle,' 'Bella,'"

"Or Bellhop," Jack added with a smirk.

Isabella scowled. "I broke my ankle a couple years ago, and _Jacky-boy _here decided to make a little joke about how I had to hop around on crutches for two months."

Jack shot Isabella a dirty look at the reference to his childhood nickname as Isabella smiled smugly.

Selah wriggled her right hand under her left sleeve and lightly scratched her upper arm. For a brief moment, none of them spoke.

"So, who do you have for homeroom this year?" Jack broke the silence.

Isabella's response was less-than enthusiastic: "Kwan," she rolled her eyes. "You want a little advice?"

Selah shrugged, "I guess."

"Learn to like Shakespeare. I think if she were 500 years younger she would've married the guy."

"Wait, you mean she isn't half-a millennium old?" Jack chuckled. "Wow. I just thought she looked _really _young for her age or something."

Isabella just smiled. "I probably should get going. If I'm late, 'Mrs. William Shakespeare' will have my head."

"And in a few years, after it rots and decomposes, it can be used as a prop for Hamlet."

Selah just closed her eyes and sighed, while Isabella's nose wrinkled in disgust.

This time, it was Jack's turn to flash a silent, but not so subtle smile of victory. It was just a small bit of revenge for the nickname incident. Now, they were even.

"We probably should be going too," Jack told Selah as he nodded to Isabella who was headed down the hall just quickly enough to avoid being stopped for running inside the school building.

_Figures, _Selah sighed to herself when she realized the Media Immersion classroom was just around the corner. Once again, she was lost as a result of not knowing a direct route to the classroom. True, Degrassi was a lot larger than her last school, but she knew it would feel smaller when she learned the layout of the campus.

"Good morning, students," A middle-aged Asian woman looked from behind her clipboard. "Please sit down alternating genders. If you are a girl, I do not want you sitting directly next to or across from another girl."

"Come on," Jack's voice was soft in order to avoid attracting attention among the chatter of the other classmates. "These are the best seats in the classroom. Let's snag them before someone else does."

Selah sighed again, this time out of relief. The stress of finding a place to sit was lessened- at least for this period.

"Mr. Macland, Ms. Enders," the teacher addressed two students who were sitting next to each other with fingers intertwined. "Don't make me separate you two."

Selah watched the couple's hands slowly separate.

"They're _really _strict when it comes to the whole 'no PDA' rule," Jack whispered. "At least when there are teachers around."

_Typical high school rebellion. _Selah thought about voicing her opinion, but quickly decided against it. Personally, she was fine with a no PDA rule. Her youth pastor's wife told a story about how she asked a couple making out at a mall if they were trying to make a baby. Ever since then, she couldn't help mentally referring to those couples-the ones who never seem to come up for air- as "baby-makers."

"Good morning students," Selah's thoughts were interrupted by the television. The computer lab became almost silent. "I hope you had a good summer. To begin, I would like to review the school's Code of Conduct for any new students, or for students who may have forgotten the rules over break. As you should know, we have a strict dress code that must be followed at all times. If you have not received your uniform, please stop by the office after home room to pick one up. You will be expected to change into your shirt immediately after getting it. Please remember that if you do not come to school wearing your uniform, you will be sent home for the day."

The announcement continued, outlining rules about keeping large backpacks in lockers, public displays of affection, being unsupervised in the classroom, drugs, weapons, and even viewing certain content on the computers.

None of the rules shocked Selah, though she was not a huge fan of having to carry her books in her arms all day. With any luck, her schedule would allow for more than just before and after school trips to her locker.

"Pictures will be taken today, and photo will be distributed at the end of the week. You must wear them at all times."

With that, almost all of the girls- and even a few of the boys- groaned in unison.

"Please note that these pictures are for I.D. purposes _only_."

A few seemed relieved.

"I would also like to bring up another issue regarding the school uniform policy. I am pleased to announce that your overall final marks have been at one of the highest levels in almost twenty years. Because of this, the school board has decided to allow 'Casual Fridays' on a probationary basis. Uniforms are not required, but you will not have the liberty to wear whatever you would like. There will be no visible undergarments. Shirts _must _have sleeves. Girls will not be allowed to wear anything that reveals cleavage or does not cover the midriff. Shorts, skirts, and dresses must fall below the knee, and open-toed shoes or shoes with heels will not be permitted. In addition, any graphics that relate to drug paraphernalia, gangs, or violence are not permitted. Failure to abide by these rules will result in cancellation of 'Casual Friday' for the remainder of the year."

Any cheers were quickly hushed by the teacher, as the announcements continued, discussing student activities, scheduling conflicts, and other more generalized announcements. At this point, it seemed as if the few who were paying attention lost interest.

Had anyone asked, Selah would have confessed that those were the longest school announcements in history. She glanced at the printout of her schedule; there was still plenty of time left in homeroom even after the eternal announcements finally ended.

"Alright then," the teacher quickly interrupted the chattering that emerged as soon as the television screen turned black. "Now, for those of you who don't know. I am your homeroom and Media Immersion teacher, Mrs. Oh. Now for attendance," her voice faded as she flipped through pages on her clipboard. "Alright. Wanda Anderson?"

"Here!"

"Frieda Claxton?"

"Here."

"Daniel Cross?"

"Here."

"Blanche Devaraux?...Rose Nylund?... Sophia Petrillo? Dorothy Zbornak...?" Names were rattled off one by one in alphabetical order, save for a few names that were obviously added onto the class roster late.

"Jack Simpson?"

Jack cringed. "I'm here," he replied in a monotone voice.

"Selah Hollingsworth?"

"Here," she looked at the annoyed expression on Jack's face. "Simpson? As in..?"

"That TV show with the yellow-skinned cartoon characters," Jack joked, shaking his head. "Yes. I'm the principal's son. I try _not _to make a big deal out of that one. Somehow, rule changes that came into effect when I was _seven _became my responsibility as soon as I entered grade nine."

Selah rolled her eyes and shrugged, as she turned her attention back to Mrs. Oh. _Same old back to school routine. Class policies and overviews, required materials... Welcome to senior year, Say. Now entering the last year of Hell._


	2. Be My Escape

_**Author's Note: In case the homeroom class roster wasn't enough of a clue already, I am the world's biggest fan of The Golden Girls. So, it's only natural that I threw in some tributes to them in this fanfic. The names Freida Claxton, Dorothy Zbornak, Rose Nylund, Blanche Deveraux, and Sophia Petrillo are all taken from The Golden Girls. In addition, Selah's last name, Hollingsworth, is the maiden name of Blanche. Chances are, there will be a LOT more references in here.**_

_**Please remember to post your reviews!

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Be My Escape (Relient K)

Selah wasn't quite sure what was on Jack's lunch tray, but she suspected "edible" was not the right word to describe the bun with red sauce oozing from within. It looked somewhat like a chili burger or a sloppy joe, but with less chili and more sloppy. Fortunately, the sauce was contained in the tray's section- separate from the limp, greasy fries and soggy vegetables.

Her lunch, brought from home, was slightly more normal. A whole wheat wrap filled with hummus, chopped carrots, cabbage, spinach, and scallions; a single-serving bag of barbeque-flavored Popchips; a Kashi Cinnamon Coffee Cake cereal bar; a pear; and a sandwich made with Nutella and sliced strawberries on a whole wheat sandwich thin. She pulled the wrap, chips, and sandwich out of the bag, leaving the fruit and cereal bar for later.

Isabella sat down next to Jack. The contents of her tray seemed less repulsive: a salad of iceberg lettuce, shredded carrots, cherry tomatoes, shredded cheddar cheese, croutons, and grilled chicken strips, along with a side of, what Selah assumed to be, ranch dressing.

"Burger with extra Sheila sauce," Isabella rolled her eyes. "Some things never change."

"Of course! You know, I almost looked up Sheila while on break- just to get some of this sauce!" Jack took a bite, sauce dripping from the bun to his chin.

"Too bad there are probably a thousand Sheilas in Toronto- and does anybody even know her last name?" Isabella handed Jack a napkin.

Selah set down her wrap, swallowing the contents in her mouth. "Who's Sheila?"

"Cafeteria lady," Jack explained. "She's been working here since the beginning of time, and she's famous for her Sheila sauce."

"'Famous.' That explains why you're the_ only_ one around here who gets that glop piled onto your food," Isabella picked up a piece of chicken with her plastic fork. "What are you going to do next year when you go to University?"

"Who said I was going to University? Maybe I'll just blow off my exams at the end of the year and stay around for a little while longer."

"You wouldn't."

"As long as I'm winning the wager, you never know."

Once again, Isabella rolled her eyes. "Jack and some of the boys here have bets on how long Sheila will be working her at Degrassi."

"Charlie and George don't think she'll be here very long, and Stanley even said she'll probably be gone by the end of the semester."

"What about you?" Selah placed a Popchip on the tip of her tongue.

"That's easy," Jack replied. "Sheila is _never _going to die. Honestly, I think the GM foods Emma is so against is allowing her to live forever."

Selah didn't speak; the expression on her face said it all.

"Emma's my older sister;half-sister, actually. She graduated from Degrassi in 2007; voted 'most likely to be jailed after being involved in an angry protest mob,'" Jack laughed. "I kid. Really though. Apparently she was known as the 'Cause Girl' of Degrassi. Anything was considered a worthy cause: selling ribbons for a women's shelter, a petition to get a tampon dispenser in the girls' washroom, stripping naked on stage to protest some sponsorship deal. She was even suspended for protesting against the cafeteria's genetically modified food. She said they put scorpion DNA in the apples or something; it's supposed to keep them from going bad. It doesn't affect the taste, and as far as we know it's not harmful."

"Eh. I'm not that concerned about my food being organic or anything. As long as it tastes good. There are probably studies showing that eating too much food _without _pesticides can be harmful," Selah laughed.

"As long as it tastes good, I don't really care if it's healthy or not. Plus, it's kinda fun to annoy my sister by eating meat."

"Oh, so this is just you fulfilling your role as the little brother?" Selah asked rhetorically. She picked up one half of her Nutella and strawberry sandwich and took a bite; the corners of her lips turned upwards in a slight smile. She set the sandwich down again, and picked up the zippered pencil pouch that sat on the notebook on the table. She pulled a coloring page out of a pink pocketed folder, and proceeded to color with a yellow Sharpie she retrieved from the pencil pouch."

"What's _that_?" Isabella asked, pointing to the coloring page.

_It's a coloring page, _Selah considered responding sarcastically, but quickly decided against it. "It's Pikachu. It's one of the main characters on this show called Pokémon that aired in the states beginning in the late '90s. You mean you've never heard of it?"

"The name sounds kind of familiar, but I'm not into that kind of stuff."

"I love old TV shows. _The Golden Girls, Maude, The Mary Tyler Moore Show, Law and Order: Special Victims Unit, Mighty Morphin' Power Rangers, The Brady Bunch._ Some of these shows are from the 1960s and '70s, but they're still great. I'm not too big on many of the shows today. I think the most recent show I even like first aired in 2010: _Hot in Cleveland,_" She sighed; a hint of sadness entered her voice. "You haven't lived until you've seen some of Betty White's TV shows and movies. She was an amazing actress. Not that her co-stars in _The Golden Girls_ weren't amazing as well. Rue McClanahan, Estelle Getty, and Bea Arthur are probably among my favorite actresses of all-time. My last name, Hollingsworth, is the same as 'Ruesy's' character, Blanche's, maiden name," she set down her pen in exchange for another bite of her sandwich. "And yes, sharing the same last name as one of your favorite fictional characters is a pretty big deal."

"I share a name with a television show!" Jack piped up. "Not that I watch _The Simpsons_ or anything."

Isabella smiled. "And I share a last name with about a zillion people. Jones is _not_ exactly the least popular of names."

"I'm probably the only person I know who associates my name with a show from the 1980s. At least the show is still in syndication thirty-something years later. So, people still watch it."

She smiled, biting her lower lip for a moment. The tail of the electric rodent was barely half-colored, but she put the marker away.

"So, who do you have next, Selah?" Jack took a bite of the chocolate cake on the tray. It was the only item Selah thought looked remotely appetizing, though she suspected it was a bit stale.

"Kwan...I think," she quickly answered, looking at the index card with her schedule written on it as an afterthought. She nodded in confirmation.

"Guess I'll be walking you to class again," Jack smiled. "With all this time spent together, people are going to start talking, you know? They'll think I'm cheating on Izzy with the new girl."

"Cheating on someone you aren't dating? How does that one work exactly?"

"It's high school. It doesn't have to make sense."

_And once people get these crazy ideas in their heads- nothing will convince them otherwise_.

"So what's going on after school?" Isabella quickly changed the subject, interrupting Selah's thoughts.

"I dunno. Wanna go to The Dot or something?" Jack looked at Selah. "You can come too if you want."

"I would," she paused. "If I knew what that even was."

"It's a little café in town. They have pretty good coffee, and there's even a club upstairs. It's a pretty good place to hang."

"A club?"

"No alcohol or anything. It's supposed to be a place where minors can see new bands. Only problem is, the only bands that ever show up are ones _from _Degrassi. There was a band that used to be a regular act there when it first started. The band with a million names: Stüdz, Janie and the Studs, Janie and the Studs featuring Peter Stone. My brother-in-law was actually their drummer. Nowadays, we'll get the occasional performance by Craig Manning, Ashley Kerwin, Jimmy Brooks, or Jenna Middleton. All were Degrassi students. That's really the best that shows up nowadays, and they've gotten kind of old."

"Alright. I guess it's ok if I go. My parents won't be home until late, and it beats sitting around at home all afternoon."

"Alright. Oh, just a heads-up. I'm pretty close with the owner, so I can probably swing a discount- or even free drinks or something. It's one advantage of a drunken Niagra Falls wedding twelve years ago."

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_She would never actually admit it, but for the first time in her life she understood. She understood why her mother turned to those bottles for comfort. It was an escape. It was her way out of life- out of the pain and loneliness she suffered. She could drown herself, and for a moment she'd be free of fears._

_Her mother's escape was in a bottle- or two, or three. Ellie Nash found her escape in another way- a way that left both physical and mental scars. _

_She had been clean for almost five years, even though there were some nights that felt like they lasted for about a hundred years. Sometimes, she'd breeze through weeks-months at a time. Other times she took things minute by minute, day by day._

_Her scars had faded, but if you looked closely they were still there. On some occasions- when she was having a rough day- she became slightly self-conscious. Rumors spread over the years, and most people she knew had some version of the truth embedded in their minds. However, even a non-conformist like Ellie couldn't help worrying about what strangers thought._

_She paced back and forth in the sand, not seeing the sun setting over the Pacific Ocean. All she could do was cry as she tried to breathe. Her mother and father were both back home in Toronto. She hadn't seen either of them in a while. She was avoiding them both._

_Not seeing her father broke her heart. She was fifteen when he was shipped off for a six-month peace-keeping mission in Afghanistan. He promised everything would be okay, and that it was only a short trip. He promised that he'd be there to watch her graduate from High School._

_He couldn't make it._

_She never told him about what happened after he left. He didn't know about how her mother's drinking became out of control, and her only way to control the situation was by cutting. He didn't know that she spent the past five years in therapy to deal with her addiction. She wondered if he knew about the night when her mother passed out- nearly burning down the house as a result. _

_From the day he left until that moment she lived in fear. Even though moving in with her boyfriend at sixteen was the best option for her at the time, she couldn't help worrying about her mom slipping back into old habits out of rehab. Now, with her dad hospitalized due to post-traumatic stress disorder, she wondered how her mother was holding up._

_She didn't want to be around if her mother relapsed. She wasn't sure if she was strong enough to handle it again. _

_All she wanted was some control. All the people she ever loved. They were gone- in some way or another. Her first real crush, Marco, ended up coming to her as being gay. Then there was Sean who left Degrassi and moved back in with his parents in Wasaga Beach to deal with the aftermath of the 2004 school shooting. She had no hope with Craig Manning. She threw herself at him time and time again-only to have her heart broken as he picked someone else each time. Her most recent ex, Jesse, was out of her life for good the moment she caught him cheating on her with her mentor, Caitlin Ryan._

_Even her parents left her- physically or emotionally. True, Marco and Ashley were two of her best friends, but they could never give her the love she really needed._

_She learned to cope- or so she thought. She needed some control. All her life she watched things fall apart. Her heart had been broken again and again. There was nothing she could do about it. Just like there was nothing she could do to 'fix' her dad. _

_She felt stupid. Stupid for feeling like she needed to cut to cope with her problems at home while her father was watching people die. Stupid that she was feeling hurt and scared as her father sat in the hospital. _

_She couldn't face him. He could always see right through her, and he'd know how broken she really was. Her trials were miniscule in comparison to his. She didn't deserve to feel this way._

_She took a look out onto the sea, shaking her head as she forced a smile. Though her judgment was clouded by the alcohol, she knew full-well that she didn't know how to swim. At that moment, she didn't care. No amount of drinking or cutting would be enough to provide an escape from this._

_She let the black shawl fall to the ground as she released the bottle in her hand. Then, she stepped forward across the beach until all she could see were the waves surrounding her.

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_**Author's Note: Seeing as Ellie is probably my favorite character on Degrassi, I had to make sure she was one of the first ones to make an appearance in this. **_

_**And, yes, Stanley, Charlie, and George were the names of Dorothy, Rose and Blanche's ex/late husbands in the Golden Girls. Hey, I told you I was obsessed!**_


	3. Zero

_**Author's Note: I just wanted to thank everybody who has added this story to their favorites, etc. It's awesome knowing that people are interested in reading more. Please leave your reviews. I'm great for constructive criticism. I know this story is a little odd with the main characters being almost exclusively of my own creation (aside from some background information from the show, of course). There will be some appearances by show characters as well-some in the form of flashbacks, and some as part of the plotline. Unfortunately, seeing as there are a LOT of characters to deal with, figuring out where they all are in the year 2020 is going to be a bit of a challenge.

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Zero (Hawk Nelson)

_**I guess it's official.**_

_**I, Selah Felicity Hollingsworth, am now a resident of Toronto, Canada. It's not too bad. You know, aside from some minor details... like my room consisting of a LOT of empty boxes. Then there's the whole not knowing anyone here, or anything about Canada. They have a lot of maple leaves on things. Their pennies, their flag. **_

_**Can you get good waffles here? Pancakes? **_

_**Then again, this is Canada, so we're probably looking at the best French Toast you can find. Well, outside of France that is. (Not that I would know or anything).**_

_**Personally, last time I even heard a lot of discussion about Canada was when I was five. It seemed like a lot of people were talking about wanting to move there. Of course, I was clueless as to WHY everyone was talking about Canada.**_

_**Turns out, it was because people couldn't stand the new president-elect Barack Obama. If I could go back in time, I think I'd be one of the people who wanted to leave the States myself. But what kindergartener thinks about politics? Heck, what kindergartener even knows the WORD? I think the biggest word in my vocabulary that started with the letter "P" was "playground." **_

_**Oh kindergarten... how I miss those day of nap times and snack times. The days when everyone watched Sesame Street. (Personally, I hated the new theme song when it came out a couple years later). **_

_**I even watched an old Sesame Street clip on Youtube the other day. Cookie Monster singing some "C is for Cookie" song. I wish that stuff was around when I was younger. **_

_**Of course, I'm sure someone could come up with a nice parody for that one. And by nice I mean completely and totally perverse. Heck, I could come up with something for the letter P (since I was talking about it earlier and all).**_

_**P is for playgrounds and penises that pee.**_

_**Somehow, that's probably mild to what everyone else has come up with. **_

_**So... anyways... back to Canada.**_

_**It's really not that bad here. Although, (and I blame being a teenage girl for this one), I can't help wishing we moved overseas. England... Australia. Some place where I could meet someone with a cute accent. **_

_**I haven't heard anything "cute" about the accent here. In fact, for the most part I don't hear an accent at all... just a lot of weird pronunciations of certain things. Like the word "sorry." I pronounce it pretty the same way I'd pronounce "sari," but they actually say the "or" in it... "sore-y." Or how they say the "gain" in "against." **_

_**Not that it bothers me or anything. It's just kinda weird.**_

_**Senior year starts tomorrow (another word they pronounce the "or" in, although they probably don't have problems spelling that word like everyone does in the states. Tomorrow does not have the letter "a" in it. It is NOT "tomarrow.")**_

_**Ok. Venting over. **_

_**I'm not looking forward to school this year. I'm done with it. Unfortunately, I don't have enough credits to go to college yet, but I'm done with the other aspect of high school. I'm done with little girls and their boyfriends of the week doing about everything but stripping naked and having sex in the hallways... the MIDDLE of the hallways. I'm done with over-competitive gym classes. I'm done with the rumors and teasing. **_

_**I'm done with the drama. **_

_**Unfortunately, I don't think this year is going to be different. In fact, I have a feeling that this year, drama is probably going to be more extreme than ever before. **_

_**At least things at home are alright. Stressful? Yes. But things aren't completely out of control right now. I'm just going to try to enjoy things while they last... but I refuse to let my guard down and believe that things might actually change for good.**_

_**I've given up hope in that ever happening.**_

_Selah stopped for a moment and put down her pen as she closed her eyes. She sat motionless, gently biting her lower lip as she ran her fingers gently over her arm. Then, in complete silence, she closed the journal and clipped the pen to the cover. _

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In the twelve years since the renovation, not much about The Dot had changed. True, there was a new state-of-the art sound system upstairs at Above The Dot, and Peter Stone was no longer employed there, but the place still looked the same, and it was still the most popular hang-out spot for Degrassi students. At least, for the students who weren't getting high, wasted, or laid. That's why they had the ravine.

It was pretty quiet that afternoon, much to the relief of the owner. Things had been hectic, but for some reason the help-wanted sign in the window wasn't drawing too many applicants who were qualified for the position.

That sign was the first thing that caught Selah's eye. _Note to self: Come back with a resum__é__._

Jack, being a not-so-perfect gentleman pushed the door open, letting Isabella catch it as it swung back to close behind him. Isabella, however, didn't let the door close before Selah followed behind.

"Jack," the man behind the counter greeted the trio "How's it going, bro?"

Jack smiled. "Not much."

"How about you, Is and-?," he paused. "I'm sorry, but I don't know your name."

"Selah. I just moved here a couple days ago."

"Gavin Mason, current owner of The Dot at your service, just as long as you don't call me 'Gavin.' Everyone calls me 'Spinner.'"

"Nice to meet you."

"Let me guess, chocolate shake, and fries for Jack, non-fat iced caramel coffee for Bella, and what about you?"

Selah looked at the menu. "How about a soy vanila shake with cinnamon, hazelnut, and a shot of espresso? Oh, and a side of sweet potato fries."

Spinner raised his eyebrows. "Um. You do realize that the ice cream does have dairy in it, right?"

"I like soy milk. I'm not allergic to dairy or anything."

"Alright then. At least you're keeping me entertained. I never get any creative orders in here."

"Don't get used to it. I usually go for boring, unsweetened tea, but when I get something different, I don't want to get something boring."

"Touché," Spinner pushed a couple buttons on the espresso machine and looked over at Selah reaching into her purse. "It's on the house."

Confused, she pulled her wallet out anyway. "Really?"

"First day of school discount for my brother and his two ladies."

Isabella rolled her eyes.

"Wait? You two are brothers?" Selah took a look at Jack and Spinner.

"Brother-in-laws really," Spinner explained. "Half-Brother-in Laws if you want to be more technical about it. I'm sort of married to his sister."

"Emma, right?" Selah asked, recalling the conversation in the cafeteria earlier. "Jack mentioned it at lunch."

"That's my lovely bride's name. Who would've known we'd get together? Take the stress of an ex-girlfriend wanting to leave for University in California, finding out said ex cheated on me with a complete jerk, and then my new spur-of-the moment employee, Emma kinda burned down the place. So, I was probably at my lowest point in life after my dad dying of lung cancer and me losing my best friend after I sort of got him paralyzed by this psycho who came to school with a gun."

Selah's eyes widened.

"It was a long time ago," Spinner frowned. "So, anyways, I was extremely depressed and my best friend, Jay; Emma, and her best friend, Manny decided to kidnap me and drag me and drag me to Niagara Falls to try to cheer me up. I made about two-and-a half grand gambling with Emma, we both got completely wasted, and spent our winnings on a casino wedding and a hideous ring that looked like a giant diamond ring-pop or something. We thought about getting the marriage annulled, but twelve-years-later we're still together," he laughed. "I don't know what's more surprising. The fact that I married Emma Nelson, or a drunken rebound relationship _actually_ working out."

Even Selah had to laugh at that.

"Between you and me," Spinner leaned over the counter. "I think it was the alcohol. I was sober when I started all my other relationships. So, don't buy everything they teach you about drinking in health class."

The smile on Selah's face disappeared. "I have no plans on drinking anytime soon. Even if everyone back in Jersey comments that I'll be able to legally do so in two years around here when I'd have to wait another four years there."

Spinner shrugged and placed down the two baskets of fries in front of the trio who were seated on the barstools at the counter. "One order of our Dot specialty fries for Jack and one order of sweet potato fries with cinnamon marshmallow dipping sauce for the new girl."

The drinks came next, first Isabella's, then Jack's, and finally Selah's. As Isabella snagged one of Jack's fries, he reached for the maraschino cherry that sat atop the whipped cream. Spinner gently tossed three straws on the table, and then tore the wrapper off a fourth. Without warning, he stuck it in Selah's milkshake. "Not bad. This might even make it to our Specials Board sometime."

Spinner must have seen the confused look on Selah's face. "Sorry. It just sounded interesting. I couldn't resist."

"Whatever. Just as long as I can get some whipped cream on this- no cherry."

He took the whipped cream canister in hand and squirted some on top before sprinkling a touch of cinnamon on top. "I thought the cinnamon would be a nice touch. Sorry I don't have any crushed hazelnuts or anything to add to the top."

She took a sip. "Mmm. Not bad," she took a second sip and smiled. "Actually, it's really good. The fries too. They didn't have anything this good in the States."

"Well, I'm glad you like it. I've kinda perfected the art of milkshakes and fries. That's what happens when you work at the same place since grade ten," a little sparkle entered Spinner's eyes. "Speaking of working, we _are _hiring. Jack? Bella? You spend enough time here as it is."

"I'm pretty busy with squad practice," Isabella held her hands up in mock surrender. "I don't exactly have time for a job right now."

"Jack?"

"Would you actually hire me, Spin? You know- not just because we're sorta, kinda, not really related?"

Spinner paused for a moment. "You know what? You're too much like your sister. You'd probably burn down the place like she did," he laughed. "Although I _did_ give her a second chance and it worked out okay."

"I just figured I'd end up eating the food before it actually made it to the customers."

"You eat everything in sight, and yet, you are a stick. I still can't figure that one out."

Selah tried another fry, sans dipping sauce. "I was actually going to come back in with my resumé. I need to find a job, and I guess this is better than nothing."

"Well, fill out this application, and I'll get back to you," he pulled a small packet of papers from behind the counter and set it down. "You have any experience?"

"I worked as a barista at a local coffee shop for a couple months before I moved, but I've never done much more than heat up food in a microwave or make drinks," she shrugged. "Actually, that's where I came up for the idea for this drink- although I didn't have it with ice-cream there."

"Any other experience?"

"Just some babysitting type things. I'm planning on majoring in Early Childhood Education in college. I might decide to take on a business major though. Math is really _not_ my thing, but it would be nice to open up my own coffee shop someday."

"I was in my twenties before I even knew what I wanted to do with my life. You're only, what? Fifteen?"

"Seventeen."

A hint of pink rose to Spinner's cheeks. "Sorry about that," he shook his head. "I should have known you were in grade twelve by the color of that hideous blue shirt. I am _so_ glad we didn't have to wear that when I was at Degrassi."

"It's fine. Everyone says I look young for my age. At least I know that any slightly older man who hits on me is probably just a pedophile or something."

The other three laughed. _Maybe I should get a job baiting perverts for the police._

She frowned, scratching an apparent itch on her inside of her left wrist while biting her lip. _Way to probably screw up any chances of getting any kind of job. Talking about perverts at an impromptu job interview was a stupid idea._

_

* * *

_

_If she could step into a time-machine and travel back in time, she'd do it in a heartbeat. She wouldn't travel back too far-just a few years or so. Back to the drama-filled halls of Degrassi Community School._

_She ran the school, well- as long as you didn't count Heather Sinclair. Heather Sinclair was overrated though. She didn't come up with the Spirit Squad, and she was never voted as part of Degrassi's cutest couple in grade ten._

_Heather Sinclair also wouldn't know drama if it bit her in her butt-implants. She _had_ to have butt implants by now. _

_Then again, she didn't see Heather Sinclair in L.A. with a broken leg propped up on a pile of pillows. Heather Sinclair wasn't a failure as a Hollywood star. Heather Sinclair wasn't a college dropout._

_Paige Michalchuck was. _

_She hated herself for it. Ever since graduation two years earlier, her life had spiraled out of control. She never had a panic attack until she stepped foot into Banting. True, she did have a tendency towards vandalism when things got out of control. Totaling her boyfriend's car in grade eleven, setting her dorm on fire a year ago. _

_Somehow, despite all the drama, high school life was simpler. She was in control- no matter how bad things got. Like that night in grade nine- the worst night of her entire life. The night she stupidly chose to go upstairs at a house party with an older guy she thought was cute: Dean Watson. _

_The night he stole her virginity. She begged. She pleaded. He didn't listen. _

_And then, two years later, he was found "not guilty" of rape. Paige was the only one who had to face the consequences of the choice he made. _

_She was over it by now- at least, for the most part. Ellie, Marco, and Griffin never knew that she still had to sleep with the lights on some nights. She still had nightmares and flashbacks. _

_Then there was Rick. She never trusted him-especially when she realized how he was hurting one of her best friends. She knew it was her fault the bullying got out of hand. She was the one who lost her temper at him during their trip. She was the reason Rick and Terri were left alone. Had things gone differently, maybe he would have never pushed Terri. Maybe she wouldn't have hit her head on that block of cement and slipped into a coma. _

_Then, maybe everyone wouldn't have hated him so much. Maybe he wouldn't have been beaten and harassed every day. _

_Maybe he never would have shot Jimmy Brooks._

_She remembered what that day was like. They were all confused, scared. Each stuck in their classrooms, not knowing why. It had to be a drill. At least, that's what she tried to convince herself-even after her mother called at told her that rumors stated that there was a shooting._

_Jimmy was in school that morning, but his seat in the classroom was empty. Nobody said a word, but Paige knew what they were all thinking. When Ms. Sauve came by to talk to Hazel, their suspicions and worst nightmares were confirmed._

_What nobody knew is how close Paige had come to being a victim. Less than an hour earlier, she was in the cafeteria laughing with a group of friends about Heather Sinclair's bad perm job when Rick came in, still covered with yellow paint and feathers. _

_She knew her reputation was at stake, but for the first time she didn't care. She slowly stood up and told Rick that she thought the whole prank that morning was "childish." _

_That moment in the classroom, when her mom called, was when she realized something else. Rick had his hand inside his backpack, almost as if he were reaching for something._

_Her heart stopped. He was the one who shot Jimmy- and if chose her reputation over talking to Rick, she would have been shot as well. _

_He came into the cafeteria because of her. _

_He knew the teasing all came back to her- in some way. True, Spinner and Jay were both expelled for the prank, but Paige couldn't help feeling responsible. _

_And even with all that pressure of maintaining her reputation while dealing with being a member of the "most cursed class" of Degrassi Community School, she'd give anything to go back. Maybe it was her "Queen Bee" status that kept her going. Even when everything seemed go go wrong, she still had something that was right in her life. After graduation, she was a nobody. _

_And it terrified her more than she'd ever admit- even to herself._

_She knew Manny Santos deserved the part in the movie. She was the one Jason wanted to play Trixie the entire time- not Paige. Paige wasn't made for that part. _

_She just sat there, tears rolling down her face. It was all gone. Everything she worked towards as one of the most popular students at Degrassi had fallen to pieces at her feet. When they were enemies, Paige had been the one to convince Ellie Nash to get help for her cutting addiction, but even after they, somewhat, became friends, she was too self-absorbed to see how much her friend was hurting. _

_And then there was Marco. She tried calling him to apologize; the phone rang once and went straight to voicemail. What he said earlier was true. Even though she told Darcy Edwards that she was over the drama of high school, some things hadn't changed._

_She was still the "same insecure little girl."_


	4. Too Far Gone

_**Author's Note: I know I've been keeping most of the original characters out of this-simply because I'm still a little unsure of where I want to have them in the year 2020. Obviously, Spinner is the current owner of The Dot, and he's still married to Emma. I'm not sure what Emma is doing-or anybody else who was at Degrassi. I have some ideas for a few characters, but not enough to really do much- at least not at this point. Any suggestions would be great!**_

_**

* * *

**_

Too Far Gone (Sixpence None the Richer)

"_Hi, Emma. I'm sorry I kissed you."_

_They wondered why the halls were so empty-so quiet. It was eerie, but nothing prepared them for the reason behind the students running fearfully down the hall._

_There, Rick Murray stood, yellow paint splattered on his best white shirt.. There he stood, the inevitable doom lingering over them all._

_That's when he saw it-the gun in Rick's hand. _

_And Sean Cameron knew why. He understood the pain that ran through his veins. _

"_J-just... put the gun down, okay? Anything else is just gonna make your life worse."_

"_It can't get any worse."_

"_It can. Believe me. I-I know."_

_Sean wasn't lying. Everybody knew he was a "bad boy." Everyone knew he was partially responsible for the disappearing electronics around the school. Everyone knew he had a criminal record. He lost his temper and punched a kid in Wasaga Beach- deafening him in one ear._

_What they didn't know is who this kid, Tyler Bishop, was. He was to Sean what Spinner Mason and Jay Hogart were to Rick. Tyler tormented Sean every day, and nobody seemed to care. "Boys will be boys," they said. "Take it like a man."_

_Eventually, Sean had enough. _

_He couldn't take it anymore._

_Then, everyone cared. _

_About Tyler._

_It didn't make a difference what Tyler had done. Everyone felt sorry for him. The only guilty party was Sean._

_He couldn't stand by and watch the same thing happen to Rick. He knew that if Emma was shot, nobody would care about Rick. Nobody would care about how he was beaten and harassed. Nobody would care about the paint and feathers dumped on him. They'd care about Emma- and _only_ Emma. Rick wouldn't be seen as the victim. Hatred towards him would be intensified. _

_Rick lowered the gun, seemingly knowing that Sean understood what he was going through. Then, raising the gun over Sean's shoulder, he confessed: "I already shot someone."_

_Adrenaline pumping through his veins, Sean knocked the gun away from Emma. Then, the two of them held the gun-struggling and fighting for control._

_Behind him, Sean heard Toby's fearful shout: "Stop!"_

_He wasn't sure what happened next. Both hands were on the trigger when the gun fired. Sean felt something warm, something wet. His suspicion was wrong; it wasn't his own urine. _

_It was blood._

_They collapsed onto the floor of the Degrassi hallway before Sean realized that he was alive- that the blood wasn't his._

_It was Rick's._

_And though he couldn't be sure, somewhere- deep down- he knew._

_He had been the one to pull the trigger._

_

* * *

_

_Jimmy Brooks knew this summer could change his life. It wasn't just about the sightseeing, tours, pictures, and the general things that came from going to Amsterdam. _

_He wasn't there for vacation.. He wasn't there to have a good time and celebrate _finally_ graduating high school after physio appointments left him a few credits short of graduation the year before. _

_He traveled from Toronto, Ontario for an operation with the potential to change his life forever. _

_Stem cell surgery. It was still experimental. There were a lot of risks involved, but he was willing to take those risks if it meant he would have a chance of walking again. _

_The last time he walked- aside from a couple steps with crutches (which didn't really count since all the work was in the arms)- was nearly three years earlier in 2004. It was the best and worst day of his life. It started with being on the winning team of the Whack Your Brain competition with Emma Nelson, Toby Isaacs, and Rick Murray. Then, it all spiraled downward when Spinner and Jay played a prank by dumping a bucket of yellow paint and feathers on top of Rick's head. Rick didn't care that Jimmy stood up for him._

_Jimmy's last steps were as he turned to run away-right before he was shot in the back. _

_A few months later, Jimmy learned that Spinner and Jay framed him for the prank._

_Eventually, Jimmy forgave Spinner for everything, though he _did _find it necessary to remind Spinner about it every once and a while. _

_For some reason, Jimmy was okay with the prospects of not walking again. There were some advantages of being a paraplegic. He was almost always guaranteed a parking spot right up front- though pull-through handicap spaces didn't seem to exist. He also didn't have to wait in line in some places, and he was usually guaranteed a good seat at concerts. He couldn't always see above the standing crowds of people, but those standing crowds usually parted, allowing him to make his way right up to center stage._

_Walking wasn't the only thing he hoped to gain from the surgery. _

_Jimmy and Spinner both shared something that neither of them liked admitting to the general audience. They both had issues with their "manhood." Spinner had recently entered remission after battling testicular cancer; a disease that left him (as he would describe it) with "only one ball to bust."_

_Jimmy's problems were a little different. He had everything there. Everything just didn't work- at least not at the right times._

_Erectile Dysfunction. "Not there when you need it; there when you don't," as his doctor described it. Jimmy really only had one of those "there when you don't" moments since the shooting. _Completely_ involuntary. It wasn't like he didn't find his physio therapist attractive- he did, just not in _that _way._

_Spinner could relate to half of Jimmy's problem- the "there when you don't" half. His experience was more than slightly more embarrassing than Jimmy's erection during physio: the "grade nine drama class boner" incident. It was on his list of "most embarrassing moments. Even to that day, he attributed it to the healthy, non-processed food he ate as part of Emma Nelson's science fair experiment- not teenage hormones._

_Only three people, other than himself, knew about Jimmy's "problem": Spinner, his doctor, and Ashley Kerwin. Jimmy was completely against pumps and implants that would make him a "sex robot," so he tried medication, but even pills that made "forty-year-old men dance in the street" had no effect. _

_Maybe things would change this summer. Maybe he will never walk again, but he wanted to get more back than his just legs._

_He wanted to know, without a shadow of a doubt, that he wouldn't have to spend his entire life as a virgin._

_He wanted his manhood._

_

* * *

_

School had only been in session for a few days, but that was all it took before Selah had _more_ than enough of blue polo shirts and khaki pants and skirts. Unfortunately, senior year lasted for more than just "a few days."

She woke up on Friday morning- "Casual Friday" with a non-uniform related outfit in mind: a black v-neck empire waist top with a peacock feather design screen printed on the lower right-hand side. She layered it over a simple white camisole and paired it with dark-washed denim jeans and black ballet flats.

She kept plain, pewter-colored stud earrings in her upper two earlobe piercings, opting for small dangling pewter music notes for the remaining holes. Her other jewelry of choice consisted of a pendant necklace: a teardrop-shaped copper charm with the word "hope" stamped in lowercase letters in the center which sat on top of a larger, round, silver charm with "Jeremiah 29:11-14" imprinted along the lower edge. On top of the copper pendant rested a tiny silver cross charm.

She pushed her shoulder-length, light brown hair behind her ears, adding her favorite headband as a finishing touch. It was thin and black, adorned with a single, small, peacock feather. She applied her usual makeup: just some eye shadow and dark blue mascara designed to help bring out the blue color of her eyes.

She unplugged her mp3 player, cell phone, and e-reader from their chargers and gently tossed them into the turquoise purse she selected for the day-along with her wallet, journal, and zippered pouch of ballpoint pens and sharpies. After double-checking her backpack for her usual school supplies, she grabbed both bags and headed downstairs for breakfast.

As usual, the first meal of the day was eaten alone: one cup of Kashi GoLean cereal mixed with a cup of sliced strawberries and a cup of vanilla flavored soy milk. Using the remaining milk in the bottom of the bowl, she swallowed her daily multi-vitamin and medication before adding his dishes to the sink and heading out the door.

Instead of taking the direct route down the street, she had enough time to take a detour. It seemed that she wasn't the only one who decided to stop by The Dot before class.

"Coming in before 8 for a 'Selah Special?'" Spinner greeted from behind the counter without even a "hello" as he gestured to the new item listed on the 'Special's Board.'

Selah just rolled her eyes. "I'm not going to have a milkshake before class. I came here for the largest black iced tea you have- unsweetened."

"For the girl who came up with one of the best drinks here since _forever_, you have a really boring taste of morning beverages. Do you at least want one of our flavored varieties- all made with real fruit."

"Uh. Sure. I'll have the citrus flavored one."

"Alright, one large citrus tea coming right up," he scooped some ice into a cup, shaking his head at Selah as she pulled her wallet out of her purse. "Put that away. It's on the house."

"I _insist_ on paying. How do you make any money if you won't let me pay?"

"Your creation the other day is one of the most popular drinks here. You've been bringing in enough money."

"_Please!_" Selah begged. "Let me pay for my tea. You're making me feel bad."

"Fine. I see I can't win here. I'll compromise; I'll charge you half-price this time," he handed her the drink. "Just think of it as a 'friends and family discount.'"

"I met you_ three _days ago."

Spinner shrugged as he handed Selah her change, hoping that she wouldn't notice the extra money. He wasn't _really_ planning on charging half-price.

She didn't notice.

"So what if we only met a few days ago?" Spinner added as Selah opened the door. "I saw the way my brother looked at you."

* * *

_It was the worst moment of her entire life, and she knew she would always regret that decision._

_She knew it would be for the best. She couldn't give that child the life he deserved- she wasn't ready to be a mother. He wasn't ready to be a father. They were too young; they had their entire lives ahead of them: the rest of high school, University, a career. She knew that she wanted to have a family, some day._

_But today was not "some day." _

_She couldn't trust him to help raise this child. Not after what he did. The pressure got to him months ago. In a desperate effort to support them, he turned to stealing and selling Oxycodone. Then, trapped in the midst of debt and drug dealers, he swallowed the pills in a suicide attempt._

_He never even got to hold his child. _

_She loved that child- more than anybody would ever know. That's why she had to give him up. He deserved a mom and a dad who could give him everything he deserved. _

_Then came that night less than a year later. 11:47 PM on the night of her seventeenth Birthday. That's when she found him- leaning on his car in a puddle of urine with a stab wound in his back. Soon after midnight, her love and the father of her child was pronounce dead._

_And Liberty Van Zandt knew that a piece of J.T. Yorke was still alive. Not just in her heart and memories, but in their son over four thousand kilometers away in Seattle._

_

* * *

_

_**Author's Note: Okay, I'll admit it. I actually teared up writing that last segment of this chapter. I figured that since I'm still a little fuzzy on how I want to bring the old characters into this, I'll keep featuring them in flashback scenes- by giving more of an insight into their thoughts at certain points during the show's run (whether they were actually shown on screen or not).**_

_**Please review! I would love to get your insight on this story. **_


	5. I Dreamed a Dream

_**Author's Note: Once again, I would like to thank everyone for the support in this fanfic. I am open to suggestions as to what you think should happen in this story. I have some ideas, but I have been stalling somewhat because they are not fully developed. Any and all suggestions are welcome.**_

_**Please post your reviews. Be as harsh as you want-I can take it! **_

I Dreamed A Dream (as sung by Susan Boyle)

"I see 'black' is the new, well, black," Isabella laughed. She opted for a simple, casual black and white polkadotted dress complete with a wide hot pink belt around the waist, pink tights, a black boots. Her hair was left in its naturally curly state and pulled back into a single ponytail.

Jack kept his outfit a bit simpler: blue jeans, a black t-shirt with a lime green graphic design, and sneakers that had seen better days.

The three met outside of the school, as they did every morning before class. Selah would have been perfectly fine with spending her time alone; that's how things had been at her previous schools. Jack and Isabella didn't give her that option. Part of it made sense. After all, Isabella and Jack had been best friends for years. She figured that was primary reason Isabella insisted the three spend time together.

Jack's reason became almost obvious after the visit to The Dot in the morning. Not that Spinner's comment made any difference to her. She had no interest in dating anybody. The only guy she even thought was remotely cute was a fictional character who was in his early thirties when she was seven: Doctor Spencer Reid from _Criminal Minds._ She had no interest in the actor who played "Reid." She liked the character.

Obviously, the only place that relationship would work was in the fictional world of her imagination-or in the occasional fanfiction.

"So, you finish the assignment for Kwan yet?" Jack asked, referring to the poetry assignment from the other day. "I've gotta finish mine during lunch."

"Finish or start?" Isabella butted in before Selah could answer.

"Both."

"I finished mine already," Selah smiled. "It was _technically_ done before class was even over."

"She assigned it at the _end_ of class though."

"And I've been writing poetry since I was ten. I just happened to have something I wrote last year that met all of her requirements. It's not like I've used it for a school assignment before- and it's still my work."

"Have any poems I can use?" Jack's voice was underlined with a slight hint of begging. "Pretty please?"

"That would be called 'plagiarism,' and I'm not in the mood to get a zero during the first week of school."

"There shouldn't even _be_ homework the first week of school."

Isabella shook her head, and though she cupped her hand over the side of her mouth as if she were whispering into Selah's ear, she made sure to speak loudly enough for Jack to hear: "He'd say that no matter what time of year it was."

Selah smiled, taking a quick sip of her tea. "You know what? I don't really care about homework right now. I'm just glad I didn't have to wear any blue today."

"Trust me. It's was a lot worse a few years ago. The uniforms are nothing," Jack let his bag fall to the ground. "My sister's best friend's younger brother's best friend said-"

Selah closed her eyes and quickly shook her head. "Wait. What?"

"One of Emma's best friends, Liberty, has a younger brother named Danny. One of Danny's best friends, Sav, was in grade twelve when dad implemented the new uniform policy," he decided it would be best to leave Connor out of this. Connor, after a period of adjustment, grew to like the uniform policy.

"Alright."

"So, when the new rules were put in place there were no exceptions to the dress code. The computer firewalls and cell phone jammers made any electronic communication basically impossible. Then of course almost all clubs were canceled."

"DCS stands for 'Degrassi Comminty School' and not 'Degrassi Community Slammer,' right?" Selah asked, eyes wide. "I mean, the media center staff at my last school acted like social networking sites were of the Devil, but it wasn't nearly as bad. Heck, my middle school near Washington D.C. Had less security put in place- and most days I was terrified of going to school."

"Things have definitely gotten better. We still have the metal detectors, of course, but clubs are pretty much back to normal and the firewalls are less strict," He lowered his voice. "Dad even mentioned that he's not sure about keeping the uniforms."

"What? Are you serious?" Isabella half spoke, half shrieked.

"Shush! I'm not supposed to say anything. I overheard him telling that even though marks have improved since the uniform policy was implemented, he really did it to appease the school board- one lady in particular. This 'Casual Friday' thing might be a test to see if we can can handle not wearing uniforms."

"It doesn't make too much of a difference to me either way," Selah shrugged.

A younger boy, who looked to be about eleven or twelve, unintentionally interrupted the conversation when his swinging messenger bag hit Jack.

"Hey, squirt," Jack snapped, sounding a little harsher than intended. "Grade six is across the street and down the road about half a mile."

"Thanks for letting me know, but I'm in grade nine."

"Either niners have shrunk, or you're just really small."

The boy frowned, and had his skin been paler his embarrassment would be more apparent. Isabella, noticing the reaction, smirked.

"So, what's your name?" Selah quickly changed the subject at Isabella's reaction.

"R.J. King."

"Well, Squirt," Jack looked at R.J. "Any reason why you're wearing my shirt."

Both boys wore almost identical t-shirts, though R.J.'s was dark blue with a red graphic. "Coincidence, maybe?" His tone of voice was almost degrading. "I just found it online and I thought it was cool."

The smug look on Jack's face would have been sufficient, but he seemed to lack the ability to keep his mouth shut. "I got one directly from the guy who made it."

"How?"

"My brother-in-law sort of talked his best friend into opening up Squatch Designs years ago. They couldn't keep up with the cost of the store, so they had to close it down. A few years later, they decided to pay for a domain and sell the shirts online instead. I get some shirts for free."

"Free food, free clothes," Selah shook her head. "Do you actually pay for anything?"

"Sheila has to charge me extra for the amount of 'Sheila Sauce' I get during lunch."

Both Selah and Isabella wrinkled their noses in both disgust and annoyance at Jack's lie. Sheila sauce was free no matter how much was requested- especially since few people requested it.

"We really should get going," Isabella spoke up. "I was almost late to Kwan's class yesterday."

The four walked up the front steps to the school building, then went their separate ways. First, R.J. walked off towards his locker and homeroom, giving the older three a few extra moments to chat before Isabella broke off from the group.

Then, like usual, Jack and Selah continued down the hall together- just the two of them.

* * *

"Please _don't make me go to Degrassi!"_

_She made that request for the first time near the end of grade five. _

"_Don't make me go to Degrassi! Don't make me go to Degrassi!" She made the same request once a year after grades six, and seven. _

_Starting the summer after grade seven, she made the request a few times a month, then every week, and then once a day. By the time the end of grade eight rolled around, she begged her parents morning and night._

_Constant requests were the norm in the Sinclair household. The only difference is that most of the requests were parent to child: "Why can't you be more like your sister?"_

_Whatever Holly J. Sinclair did, Heather Sinclair did better. Both were in beauty pageants while they were younger. If Holly J. won second place, Heather won first. If Holly J. won first place, Heather won the grand prize. They both competed in their grade three spelling bees. Heather won first place, but when Holly J. stood on the stage for her chance at victory, she failed. _

_Even Holly J.'s teachers from kindergarten through grade six raved about how "wonderful Heather was in class." _

_So, that afternoon in late 2002 when Heather came home from school ecstatic that she was now neck-to-neck with Paige Michalchuk for the title of 'Most Popular' student in Degrassi, Holly J. made a decision._

_She did _not _want to spend junior high (and later high school) living in her sister's shadow. _

_She needed to take charge. She needed to have her own 'Queen Bee' crown of honor. She needed to make a name for herself- a name that wasn't "Heather Sinclair's little sister."_

_So, in 2005, Holly J. Sinclair started grade nine at Lakehurst High School- a place where nobody knew anything about Heather Sinclair. It took only a few months before she became Queen Bee of Lakehurst- surpassing the grade ten, eleven, and twelve students in power. _

_Heather was never head cheerleader. At last, Holly J. won something; she was finally better at something._

_Then, over Christmas break, Holly J.'s perfect empire fell apart. A spontaneous fire left Lakehurst High in ashes, and the school board made a last-minute decision to merge the two schools: Lakehurst and Degrassi._

_She was, once again, in the shadow of her sister- striving to make a name for herself._

_Heather got everything she always wanted. There were no questions asked when she wanted to apply to her dream school. When she wanted to go on trips or to concerts, she was given the money. _

_Heather never spent school trying to live up to a perfect sister. She never had to stress over extra-curricular activities in hopes of gaining scholarships so college was an option. She never had to maintain near-perfect grades while working during most free moments to earn money for tuition. She was given the money for SAT classes without a single moment of hesitation. Heather never reached a point where she felt so desperate she felt the need steal money from her best friend. _

_Heather Sinclair was perfect. She was the princess in her fairytale world._

_And Holly J. knew that, though they both could be princess, only one would truly rise to be queen.

* * *

_

_They all stared- as if a scarlet letter was plastered on her chest for all to see. It was there: in the tiny pale mark where her abstinence ring once sat on her finger._

_Manny and Peter both said it didn't count, but she couldn't accept it. She made a promise to save herself for her prince- to save herself until after she was married. Darcy understood her friends' logic. She didn't willingly, or knowingly, give herself away. Her virginity was stolen from her._

_But she still bore the scars as if she were the sinner everyone thought she was. _

_She was drugged and raped because she wanted time alone with a boyfriend her parents hated. She lied, and in her shame of being violated, she couldn't reveal the truth. She couldn't tell anybody. Only Manny, Peter, Mr. Simpson, and a God who abandoned her knew. The rumors around school only mentioned Darcy's broken vow, scarred wrist, jagged chunk of missing hair, and her role in the absence of Mr. Simpson. _

_The Friendship Club treated her as if she were a leper. Peter thought she was 'hopeless.' Boys like Bruce and Johnny wanted to be next in line. Manny was stuck in the middle of a war between two hurting friends: Darcy and Emma._

_But, for some reason, it was the look on one person's face that said more than anything else. It was a look of hurt, a look of anger. "Who are you to judge me? You're a hypocrite!" it seemed to scream._

_It was Spinner Mason.

* * *

_

_**Finding myself again  
**__**alone with no purpose.  
**__**There's no reason to hope.  
**__**My dreams are just worthless.**_

_**What can I do?  
**__**How can I reach with these words that I write?  
**__**Can my simple prayers and poetry  
**__**extend to the heavens; take flight?**_

_**Is there a reason? Is there meaning?  
**__**In the end of it all  
**__**do I pour out my heart for nothing  
**__**but to watch tears and dreams fall?**_

_She watched as everything she loved slipped away. Though she tried to grasp it once more, it never lasted. Friendships, relationships- they were never the same. Though they had forgiven her for mistakes of the past, she never truly accepted it. _

_All she wanted was a life where she felt like she belonged. She was tired of being in the shadow, striving to be a nobody. She wanted people to see her- to hear her._

_She wondered if the dream would ever really come true._


End file.
